(Continued from where I left)
But then, it still does not answer the question : - Why are people really serious with someone at some stage, and casual at others?
The answer lies in the fact that deficiency needs of human being,as explained by Maslow, are not always mutually exclusive.So at some point of time you get into a relationship because subconsciously there is a crave for affection/attention or there is a crave for physical satisfaction.But at other times, the signal from the hormones indicate that one particular individual is able to meet most or all of the deficiency needs : namely esteem (meeting with the norms of the requirements of one’s society or peer group),love,safety (financial,physical,emotional etc etc..),and physical.The more the needs are met at an optimum level, the higher the level of attachment.
So why does heartbreak causes turmoil,sometimes longing for ages?? Before this question is answered, we have to get one fact straight – The 4 deficiency needs of every individual vary, and is dependent on the socio-cultural environment he is exposed to. Heartbreak’s cause a void, because suddenly u find that there is no one to cater to your deficiency needs as sought by your body.So you might find someone who meets your esteem needs in the way you seek, but not your safety needs.And because it is so difficult to find someone who is same or better to meet all your deficiency needs,there is a heartbreak.Twist and modify whatever I wrote,and you would understand why people sometimes fall in love with someone else,though they were involved in what they considered was a serious relationship.Its just that the new person is able to meet her deficiency needs in a more optimum manner.
To cut the story short – there is nothing called true love.Nor is there anything called love at first sight, no matter however romantic it might sound.What might exist is lust at first sight.Sigmund Freud, the father of modern psychology, had explained the same way back in the 19th century.When a guy sees a girl, subconsciously, he is just trying to find out how compatible the other person is with him in the bed.Crushes/Infatutions are just sexual desires getting transformed into primary motivational energy of human life.And love is all about meeting your deficiency needs.
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2 comments:
truly said AKA .Its all about ur need.
Well,nice topic and explanations are equally good.This article reminds me of a friend of mine, who after smoking 3 suttas full of grass said,"dude,why we miss someone so much after we break up,not because we miss him /her,but because we miss that bloody part of ourselves that stayed with him/her which is gone once we broke up.That bloody part is NEED which is a direct outcome of stupid chemicals working inside our brain or lower part of our body or whatever .Hence there's nothing called true love, hei,where's my sutta???."
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