Malicious Gossips

1)Some time back, a consulting company, for some inexplicable reasons, decided to offer me the profile of " Management Consultation & Valuation" for my summer internship project.Now my friends would vow by the fact that me being a management consultant is akin Laloo Prasad Yadav running a "Yadav Insitute of Spoken English". Judging by the very fact that the interview panel, which comprised of their senior consultants, decided to recruit me as a consultant, speaks volumes of their efficiency levels, and how only a miracle can now save the world from another global recession - given the way this consulting firms are operating.

2)I wont name the company which has made the export quality decision of recruiting me as a intern though.Yeah , am scared that they might employ some Jasoos who might then find how I am trying to mix the company's "naam" in "mitti" , and how I mite be told by my boss "Aap ke liye yaha koyi jagaa nahi hain" in the very first day of office.But more than that, am scared of the placecom team (Read - Placement committee team) of my college. They have this habit of levying fine on anything and everything when it comes to their notion of relationships with companies.Last time, a Peon from Uncle Chips came to give some letter, and I was fined as I did not call him sir,and offer him tea while collecting the letter.And the amount of money they make collecting fines is more than the yearly revenue of Indian Railways.Infact,couple of years back , one of the garib students had to sell one of his kidneys to pay the fine that was levied on him.And when I Once asked one of those placements guys on what is being done with the money collected through fine, he said he cant let me know.Hindi films have taught me over the years that if somebody doesnot disclose about where his money is going, he is definitely involved in smuggling.I will complain about this smuggling to CBI, once I get placed next year.Ok, I was just bullshitting.My room mate is a place com member, and I just love to irritate him - Discard whatever I have written here - If you don't want Shruti Hasaan to be widowed before marriage that is ;-)

3) And suddenly, the realization that am using bullet points even in a blog, should make u enlightened that am getting used to the life of an MBA student. Infact,such is the internalization, that the last time I wanted some money from my dad , I made a power point presentation, gave him a cost benefit and ROI analysis, and thus concluded how giving me the money is the wisest decision he has ever made

4)Last year,there was huge campaign run by Indian Railways with the punch line "160 years of bringing people closer".Now, this was one commercial I agree with unequivocally.Think of it - When the train services started in India somewhere in the 1860's , you hardly had any Indians who could afford the luxury of railways.And now , the moment you enter a Mumbai Local, you are virtually left in the lurch to find even a tiny bit of space in the compartment, where u can cramp n somehow survive the journey.Even ur wife wont be as physically close to you in the bed , when you compare it with the physical proximity of one and his co passenger in a peak hour virar local.See - 160 years of bringing people closer indeed.

5) Coming back to b schools,spend 2 days out here, and you start perceiving that everybody is vying for a job in Economic Times.I mean, people out here just need an opportunity to flaunt how their knowledge on recent economic topics are better than the economic adviser of India.To read economic times every morning is considered to be as necessary as attending to one's nature's call, and non-compliance leads you to be considered a someone having the intellect level of an American Super Model.Budget aaya ki nahin is baar - mails were floating from one direction to the other - As if ye koi budget nahin, Katrina Kaif ka Swayambar ka Invitation ho.N for lesser mortals of my stature, whose interest in newspapers have never proceeded beyond the "Delhi Times" supplement of Times Of India, the situation is like that of that a "kushti" competition happening in a local "akhada" which is happening synchronously with the IPL,thereby not generating even an iota of attention ;-)

6) I really find Shruti Hasaan Cute.N by that,I do mean in no uncertain terms that shez really really hot n gorgeous( Question out of curiosity - Why do north Indians have this habit to use the same adjectives multiple times to stress a point?? Does it come from the tradition of shouting "BUM BHOLE" OR "RAJA RAMCHANDRA KI JAI" a billion times during this religious festivals, so much so ki any ENT specialist in the town makes a fortune the next week out of ailing ear patients).So any kind human being whoz even remotely associated with her, and who cares bout my "sukhi zindagi do baal bacche samet" is welcome to get her rishta fixed with this sharif banda .Btw, keeping illusions aside, I found out her birthday to be on 28th Jan, which itself scares the shit outa me.I mean,the last time I was into a relationship with some female who was born on 28th jan, it resulted in such a huge disaster - that if I start tellin you the tale, by the time I reach the half way mark - my room would already have had a flood of the scale of the floods in Bihar last year, courtesy your tears.But koyi nahi puttar, people have experienced world war 2, people of have experienced someone cheating on you, people have experienced some one ensuring you are left with a big dent in your bank balance, and definitely your heart - and then act before their frenz that they never were involved, and the victim was actually the perpetrator who had made up the story - People, in short, have experienced the scariest things in life, and I am not the only one I know

7) And staying with the drift, one of my frenz ( Lets call him Veeru, a tribute to the immortal Dharmendra role in Sholay) is really upset this days.Here is the story.Veeru notices that Jai has put a modified version of a status message, which had been influenced by a girl, who again as tribute to the great epic of all times,I am going to refer as Sita.Now, Veeru tells Sita that her status message in GTALK is inspiring quite a few people.Sita replies with something like "Jai's message are sometime provocative".Now,when I was in school, my highest marks in my Moral Science paper was 20 outta 50.That too happened coz Moral Science was inevitably taught by the "father's" (From those hailing from Timbaktoo, this father's had no kids.They were infact catholic priest's who were barred from indulging in any activity which could have resulted in production of kids),who believed in the concept of not failing one in his tender years.Thus he always ended up giving enough grace marks to me.Only Once did I score a 40 - that time, the paper was out of 100.So, keeping with the tradition, I kinda told Veeru to tell Jai ki Sita told his messages were provocative.And he relented after lot of convincing.And bang changed Jai's status message - Ki his messages were provocative as it was meant to provoke one to think.When Sita noticed, some childish fight broke off between the two regarding some breach of trust and some such crap - as if koyi silly argument nahin, Kashmir ka discussion ho raha ho India Pakistan ke beech.Now guys, if you are reading this - It was all coz of me, so eradicate the cold vibes between you two.I kinda did this jus for fun - n I hope both of you understand I didn't mean any animosity.

8) N before I bid adieu, It seems tributing one's achievement to some is really considered in this days.Shahrukh tributes the success of his film to all Indians,Ambani tributes his success to his father - So lemme waste no to add my name in this grandiose list , and tribute this blog full of gibberish to the only living legend I am aware of for capturing the passion of a progressive nation, and becoming the first batsman in history to score a double hundred in limited over's cricket - ~~~~Bows down to the legend~~~~