Baby Aint the sky beautiful
Radiant with the sparkling stars;
Even more enthralling is the paradise of my dreams
Featuring the Indisputable princess that you are.
So what that you moved across
To a distant land so far;
Yet I keep on bumping into you
Frequently ,In my recurring dreamy reverie.
As a flurry of breeze , and the colorful blossom
Proclaim the arrival of spring;
Was this not the season for youthful indulgence
Be it in love,liason or even just a fling ?
How I yearn that you were here now
Hogging those Pizzas in an grandeur mall;
A big long hug, and a soft little peck
And the endless blabber , in an midnight call.
The restless mind affirms the unfathomable love,
the extent of which cannot be told;
Will anyone ever be able to quantify
How much water does the Pacific hold ?
Try and find another soul
Who loves you with more zeal and fervor,
And comprehends better all the craving
That your mind and heart persists to harbour
The birds, the tree's , even the rays of sun
Everything suddenly portends a plight
Even they grumble about your everlasting absence
Aggravating the void, night after night.
Akin to the optimism of a desert gypsy
Searchin for an oasis amidst the sand,
I hope and pray against all odds,
There's no split till times end.
Monday, May 9, 2011
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Romance,True Love &Heartbreak – My Two Cents - Part 2
(Continued from where I left)
But then, it still does not answer the question : - Why are people really serious with someone at some stage, and casual at others?
The answer lies in the fact that deficiency needs of human being,as explained by Maslow, are not always mutually exclusive.So at some point of time you get into a relationship because subconsciously there is a crave for affection/attention or there is a crave for physical satisfaction.But at other times, the signal from the hormones indicate that one particular individual is able to meet most or all of the deficiency needs : namely esteem (meeting with the norms of the requirements of one’s society or peer group),love,safety (financial,physical,emotional etc etc..),and physical.The more the needs are met at an optimum level, the higher the level of attachment.
So why does heartbreak causes turmoil,sometimes longing for ages?? Before this question is answered, we have to get one fact straight – The 4 deficiency needs of every individual vary, and is dependent on the socio-cultural environment he is exposed to. Heartbreak’s cause a void, because suddenly u find that there is no one to cater to your deficiency needs as sought by your body.So you might find someone who meets your esteem needs in the way you seek, but not your safety needs.And because it is so difficult to find someone who is same or better to meet all your deficiency needs,there is a heartbreak.Twist and modify whatever I wrote,and you would understand why people sometimes fall in love with someone else,though they were involved in what they considered was a serious relationship.Its just that the new person is able to meet her deficiency needs in a more optimum manner.
To cut the story short – there is nothing called true love.Nor is there anything called love at first sight, no matter however romantic it might sound.What might exist is lust at first sight.Sigmund Freud, the father of modern psychology, had explained the same way back in the 19th century.When a guy sees a girl, subconsciously, he is just trying to find out how compatible the other person is with him in the bed.Crushes/Infatutions are just sexual desires getting transformed into primary motivational energy of human life.And love is all about meeting your deficiency needs.
But then, it still does not answer the question : - Why are people really serious with someone at some stage, and casual at others?
The answer lies in the fact that deficiency needs of human being,as explained by Maslow, are not always mutually exclusive.So at some point of time you get into a relationship because subconsciously there is a crave for affection/attention or there is a crave for physical satisfaction.But at other times, the signal from the hormones indicate that one particular individual is able to meet most or all of the deficiency needs : namely esteem (meeting with the norms of the requirements of one’s society or peer group),love,safety (financial,physical,emotional etc etc..),and physical.The more the needs are met at an optimum level, the higher the level of attachment.
So why does heartbreak causes turmoil,sometimes longing for ages?? Before this question is answered, we have to get one fact straight – The 4 deficiency needs of every individual vary, and is dependent on the socio-cultural environment he is exposed to. Heartbreak’s cause a void, because suddenly u find that there is no one to cater to your deficiency needs as sought by your body.So you might find someone who meets your esteem needs in the way you seek, but not your safety needs.And because it is so difficult to find someone who is same or better to meet all your deficiency needs,there is a heartbreak.Twist and modify whatever I wrote,and you would understand why people sometimes fall in love with someone else,though they were involved in what they considered was a serious relationship.Its just that the new person is able to meet her deficiency needs in a more optimum manner.
To cut the story short – there is nothing called true love.Nor is there anything called love at first sight, no matter however romantic it might sound.What might exist is lust at first sight.Sigmund Freud, the father of modern psychology, had explained the same way back in the 19th century.When a guy sees a girl, subconsciously, he is just trying to find out how compatible the other person is with him in the bed.Crushes/Infatutions are just sexual desires getting transformed into primary motivational energy of human life.And love is all about meeting your deficiency needs.
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Romance, True Love &Heartbreak – My Two Cents - part 1
In the very early hours of today morning (not too sure if it would be appropriate to refer to it as a morning in true sense though, I had not even hit the bed then), I was in for a pleasant surprise. It was a phone call from one of my long lost close buddies. She was one of my best friends during my tenure in Kolkata, until she decided to move to Bangalore to pursue her post graduation. I moved to Delhi shortly thereafter, and with the passage of time, the bonds of friendship thinned out. We had committed at some point of time to be the best of friends forever, but forever is a long time, much longer than the couple of blissful years I had spent in the city of joy. A galore of misunderstandings emerged (not too sure if she would agree with this:-D), a couple of verbal fights for nonsensical reasons evolved out of nowhere, thus leading to a reduction of one friend in my face book friends list.18 months passed by. I did try to get in touch with her more than a couple of times, but her bellyaching disgruntlement stood firm.
N then came her call. To be honest, it was not completely out of the blue. I wanted to wish her on her birthday, but I was on a trekking vacation with virtually no access to a phone – Hence I sent her a message conveying my regards once I was back. She could not figure out the source of the message, and gave me a call. And thus began our conversation. In the good old days, our conversation was limited to nonsensical matters of minute importance: matters which are probably less trivial than the hairs oozing out from the left side of your nose. But in the very first couple of minutes, I could easily figure out that the passage of time has evolved her into a graceful matured young lady, with a hint of sophistication embedded (I m not too sure if I can say the same about me though).We spoke for some duration, and about a plethora of things, but let’s leave that for another day. One point she made did leave a dent in mind though - when she spoke to me in melancholic detail about her boyfriend and their break up, on how she was cocksure he was her true love and how she could never find anyone who could match up to him, and how the impact of his affliction would never continue to evade her.In other words, he was her Mr. Perfect, and she could not come to terms with the fact that they were no longer together. He could not be replicated, she sensed…and I could figure out that she perceived that anybody she would get involved with would be a mere “compromise”, or so she thought.
You know, this is the problem with guys like me. I need to go to the toilet but I don't say 'Excuse me' and go away. Instead I start with a story about the time when a two year old me pissed in my aunt's lap so hard she almost suffered from multiple thigh fractures .Then I continue to talk about my aunt and her husband who worked in NASA and somehow the entire talk ends in stuff like 'Is there life outside earth' and I completely forget that I need to go to the toilet. So I will rephrase all that I have so stupidly said – Does True Love exists? Why are people not rational when it comes to romance? Is there actually a thing called Love?
Now for a guy like me, whose exposure to successful relationship is as high as the number of intellectually stimulating movies Salman Khan has acted in, I am not too sure why I am even penning this down in the first place.But if u ask me what is Love, Love to me is just another synonym for attachment.You love your parents because you are emotionally attached to them. You have been groomed in that environment where your parents had a major part to play in the way you shape up; hence a bonding evolved over a period of time. Imagine a guy who got lost in some Kumbh ka Mela as a kid, and meets his original parents after 30 years – Do you think he would have that attachment?.Probably he would be more close to his foster parents who played the part of nurturing him.In the developed nations, the attachment therefore is considerably less: - As kids are encouraged to develop a sense of independence right from a tender age. Our society is more built on the foundations of family orientations, hence a closer attachment gets inbuilt over time in the subconscious mind. The same reason can be attributed to the love towards one’s pet – U have developed a bonding, an attachment towards him over some time. Hence, after his demise, a void fills in...Something which can’t be replicated by any other pet. The moral of the story – There is nothing called true love. Love is an acquired phenomenon, an attachment your brain has got acclimatized to over a period of time.
Now let’s come to some other fundamental questions. Why then do people get really serious with some, and are only casually involved with some, at different stages of his life? What distinguishes between the two? .In 1943, a famous psychologist named Abraham Maslow came out with a classic paper named “A theory of Human Motivation”. This paper became the basis of development psychology as we know it today. More on his theory can be read here - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maslow%27s_hierarchy_of_needs.
In his paper, Maslow segregated the most fundamental needs of human beings into four layers which are called “deficiency needs”, namely esteem, friendship and love, security, and physical needs. Human beings by nature are social animals, and feel the need of belongingness. This need for belongingness inadvertently results into two intrinsic requirements – 1) The need to be in accordance with the ethos laid out by society and family, and at same time meeting the peer pressure requirements of one’s social circle 2) The desire to be paid attention, care. Thus, in Indian society, though the desire to be attended to by a prince charming did exist even earlier, Love was considered a taboo….and the pressure of social ethos led to ladies of that era not crossing the so called forbidden line of indulging in romance. But as society evolved, the desire to be paid attention and care, and the cool quotient of being in “Love” sublimed subconsciously in the psyche of the present day urban Indian. Hence the rise in relationships.
(To be continued..)
N then came her call. To be honest, it was not completely out of the blue. I wanted to wish her on her birthday, but I was on a trekking vacation with virtually no access to a phone – Hence I sent her a message conveying my regards once I was back. She could not figure out the source of the message, and gave me a call. And thus began our conversation. In the good old days, our conversation was limited to nonsensical matters of minute importance: matters which are probably less trivial than the hairs oozing out from the left side of your nose. But in the very first couple of minutes, I could easily figure out that the passage of time has evolved her into a graceful matured young lady, with a hint of sophistication embedded (I m not too sure if I can say the same about me though).We spoke for some duration, and about a plethora of things, but let’s leave that for another day. One point she made did leave a dent in mind though - when she spoke to me in melancholic detail about her boyfriend and their break up, on how she was cocksure he was her true love and how she could never find anyone who could match up to him, and how the impact of his affliction would never continue to evade her.In other words, he was her Mr. Perfect, and she could not come to terms with the fact that they were no longer together. He could not be replicated, she sensed…and I could figure out that she perceived that anybody she would get involved with would be a mere “compromise”, or so she thought.
You know, this is the problem with guys like me. I need to go to the toilet but I don't say 'Excuse me' and go away. Instead I start with a story about the time when a two year old me pissed in my aunt's lap so hard she almost suffered from multiple thigh fractures .Then I continue to talk about my aunt and her husband who worked in NASA and somehow the entire talk ends in stuff like 'Is there life outside earth' and I completely forget that I need to go to the toilet. So I will rephrase all that I have so stupidly said – Does True Love exists? Why are people not rational when it comes to romance? Is there actually a thing called Love?
Now for a guy like me, whose exposure to successful relationship is as high as the number of intellectually stimulating movies Salman Khan has acted in, I am not too sure why I am even penning this down in the first place.But if u ask me what is Love, Love to me is just another synonym for attachment.You love your parents because you are emotionally attached to them. You have been groomed in that environment where your parents had a major part to play in the way you shape up; hence a bonding evolved over a period of time. Imagine a guy who got lost in some Kumbh ka Mela as a kid, and meets his original parents after 30 years – Do you think he would have that attachment?.Probably he would be more close to his foster parents who played the part of nurturing him.In the developed nations, the attachment therefore is considerably less: - As kids are encouraged to develop a sense of independence right from a tender age. Our society is more built on the foundations of family orientations, hence a closer attachment gets inbuilt over time in the subconscious mind. The same reason can be attributed to the love towards one’s pet – U have developed a bonding, an attachment towards him over some time. Hence, after his demise, a void fills in...Something which can’t be replicated by any other pet. The moral of the story – There is nothing called true love. Love is an acquired phenomenon, an attachment your brain has got acclimatized to over a period of time.
Now let’s come to some other fundamental questions. Why then do people get really serious with some, and are only casually involved with some, at different stages of his life? What distinguishes between the two? .In 1943, a famous psychologist named Abraham Maslow came out with a classic paper named “A theory of Human Motivation”. This paper became the basis of development psychology as we know it today. More on his theory can be read here - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maslow%27s_hierarchy_of_needs.
In his paper, Maslow segregated the most fundamental needs of human beings into four layers which are called “deficiency needs”, namely esteem, friendship and love, security, and physical needs. Human beings by nature are social animals, and feel the need of belongingness. This need for belongingness inadvertently results into two intrinsic requirements – 1) The need to be in accordance with the ethos laid out by society and family, and at same time meeting the peer pressure requirements of one’s social circle 2) The desire to be paid attention, care. Thus, in Indian society, though the desire to be attended to by a prince charming did exist even earlier, Love was considered a taboo….and the pressure of social ethos led to ladies of that era not crossing the so called forbidden line of indulging in romance. But as society evolved, the desire to be paid attention and care, and the cool quotient of being in “Love” sublimed subconsciously in the psyche of the present day urban Indian. Hence the rise in relationships.
(To be continued..)
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Random Bakwaas....
As the world discusses on more trivial issues ,including topics like " was bharat bandh necessitated" , "are the blue whales gonna survive from the jaws of extinction, thanks to the wrath of Global warming", and better still, some of the guys in my hostel discusses on which of the chicks in the new batch has the best "statistics", I crunch on some Hide n Seek Biscuits in this hour - n write stuff which are probably less important than the dirt in the nail of ur index finger of your left hand.
Like a good masoom seedha saadha Indian Citizen , I should warn you beforehand – Highly senseless and Hindi ridden post ahead. You better watch TV instead.Or watch the pirated copy of the utter gibberish "I hate love stories". If you are still readin this,am sure u r the kinda person who has nothing better to do to kill time, except maybe counting the number of keys in the keyboard.N maybe you have gone tired of that too...
The views expressed are entirely and stupidly MINE , intent is not to offend anyone , but just to express my amusement.
I am kinda bewildered by the exotic breed of guys who continue to amaze me with their amazingly low sense of self respect and amazingly high need to talk to a girl.I mean , as I was discussing wid one of my classmates yesterday,they probably would give away one eye, one kidney and one hand away just to have a girlfriend.
I guess they must be going around pleading “please talk to me” before electric poles in some time . I mean, I don’t know if girls like such guys , but if I would have been a girl , I would have been like “Abbe , itna desperate kyun hai mere laal ?
Mebbe this is like an acquired obsession , thanks to our our media in general,and hindi fillum industry in particluar, which portrays of havin a girlfriend as a "kool" thing,n without which u r an outcast ...or mebbe its just a response of the sexual libido which has been cravin for a release in the way it is naturally meant to be....but wotever be it - I find the whole thing nothin short of grave dementia
Now on to some data , revealed by some extensive market research in orkut, facebook, blogs, and community forums, extensively dedicated to a part of this breed of gentlemen who are exclusively found on social networking sites
1) Salaam... u look so cute...u look sort of simplicity...wana be my friend...( No thank you , and if I look ‘sort of simplicity’ , you look ‘sort of stupidity’ )
2) friend so sweet as me
u wont have else 2 see
wanna have an awesome twosome rap
then drop a word in my little scrap.
hi, love to have me ur friend?
u'll be gettin such sweeties ,i send
( Arre Baba Sehgal jee , aap internet par ? )
3) hello mam u havent told me abt what ur doing....
i m not like all guy present here in ur scrap book.....if u r intrested in reply then only i'll write u scrap more....otherwise i wont write u ny more...
so dear just like a good frd tell me something.......
( Hai allah , kitna self esteem se bharpooor ladka hai , subhaan allah ! )
4)Hi....hand of friendship......wanna hold? :)
( Hand of friendship ? Uee ma ! What happened to your own hands ? )
5) hi
what r u dooing now a days bcoz u stopped scapping me please reply i'll wait four your reply
( It is so moving to hear that you would wait four me. I will wait five you )
And btw, this also brings me down to another important question..
One thing I don't get is that why people put up pictures of filmstars as their profile pics . I know my picture can induce bed wetting in kids upto eleven years old , but putting up a Salmaan Khan pic as my profile pic is like saying "Ok . This is me . I know the guy who starred in Hum aapke hain kaun resembles me ." And I sure won't look at some girl's profile pic and say "WoW !!! Katrina Kaif is on my friends friend's list in facebook !!".
Anyways,It was fun writing wotever I wrote.Sense mat dhoond - Milega nahi.I will take your leave and read some Jughead comic before going to sleep.And the next time u get bored of counting the keys in ur keyboard, drop in "Hi , i want to build friendship to you' liners in some profiles of Orkut having Katrina as their profile pic.Bataa phir teri nayi girlfriend bani ki nahii..
Like a good masoom seedha saadha Indian Citizen , I should warn you beforehand – Highly senseless and Hindi ridden post ahead. You better watch TV instead.Or watch the pirated copy of the utter gibberish "I hate love stories". If you are still readin this,am sure u r the kinda person who has nothing better to do to kill time, except maybe counting the number of keys in the keyboard.N maybe you have gone tired of that too...
The views expressed are entirely and stupidly MINE , intent is not to offend anyone , but just to express my amusement.
I am kinda bewildered by the exotic breed of guys who continue to amaze me with their amazingly low sense of self respect and amazingly high need to talk to a girl.I mean , as I was discussing wid one of my classmates yesterday,they probably would give away one eye, one kidney and one hand away just to have a girlfriend.
I guess they must be going around pleading “please talk to me” before electric poles in some time . I mean, I don’t know if girls like such guys , but if I would have been a girl , I would have been like “Abbe , itna desperate kyun hai mere laal ?
Mebbe this is like an acquired obsession , thanks to our our media in general,and hindi fillum industry in particluar, which portrays of havin a girlfriend as a "kool" thing,n without which u r an outcast ...or mebbe its just a response of the sexual libido which has been cravin for a release in the way it is naturally meant to be....but wotever be it - I find the whole thing nothin short of grave dementia
Now on to some data , revealed by some extensive market research in orkut, facebook, blogs, and community forums, extensively dedicated to a part of this breed of gentlemen who are exclusively found on social networking sites
1) Salaam... u look so cute...u look sort of simplicity...wana be my friend...( No thank you , and if I look ‘sort of simplicity’ , you look ‘sort of stupidity’ )
2) friend so sweet as me
u wont have else 2 see
wanna have an awesome twosome rap
then drop a word in my little scrap.
hi, love to have me ur friend?
u'll be gettin such sweeties ,i send
( Arre Baba Sehgal jee , aap internet par ? )
3) hello mam u havent told me abt what ur doing....
i m not like all guy present here in ur scrap book.....if u r intrested in reply then only i'll write u scrap more....otherwise i wont write u ny more...
so dear just like a good frd tell me something.......
( Hai allah , kitna self esteem se bharpooor ladka hai , subhaan allah ! )
4)Hi....hand of friendship......wanna hold? :)
( Hand of friendship ? Uee ma ! What happened to your own hands ? )
5) hi
what r u dooing now a days bcoz u stopped scapping me please reply i'll wait four your reply
( It is so moving to hear that you would wait four me. I will wait five you )
And btw, this also brings me down to another important question..
One thing I don't get is that why people put up pictures of filmstars as their profile pics . I know my picture can induce bed wetting in kids upto eleven years old , but putting up a Salmaan Khan pic as my profile pic is like saying "Ok . This is me . I know the guy who starred in Hum aapke hain kaun resembles me ." And I sure won't look at some girl's profile pic and say "WoW !!! Katrina Kaif is on my friends friend's list in facebook !!".
Anyways,It was fun writing wotever I wrote.Sense mat dhoond - Milega nahi.I will take your leave and read some Jughead comic before going to sleep.And the next time u get bored of counting the keys in ur keyboard, drop in "Hi , i want to build friendship to you' liners in some profiles of Orkut having Katrina as their profile pic.Bataa phir teri nayi girlfriend bani ki nahii..
Friday, June 11, 2010
A Tribute to the Wonder Years...
Once upon a time there was a girl I knew, who lived in an hour's journey from my home. Black hair, brown eyes. When she smiled, I smiled. When she cried, I cried. Every single thing that ever happened to me that mattered, in some way had to do with her.And one day, me and the girl promised each other that no matter what, we'd always be together. It was a promise full of passion and wisdom. It was the kind of promise that can only come from the hearts of the very young.
All our young lives we search for someone to love. Someone who makes us complete. We choose partners and change partners. We dance to a song of heartbreak and hope... all the while wondering if somewhere, somehow, there's someone perfect... who might be searching for us.
Over the course of the average lifetime you meet a lot of people. Some of them stick with you through thick and thin. Some weave their way through your life and disappear forever. But once in a while someone comes along who earns a permanent place in your heart.Like a lot of someone's.Like in a lot of " once in a while"
Growing up is never easy. It never was , n would never be.You fight to hold on. You fight to let go. You hold on to things that were. You wonder what's to come.
But one fine evening, I think I knew it was time to let go of what had been, and look ahead to what would be. Other days. New days. Days to come. The thing is, we didn't have to hate each other for getting older. We just had to forgive ourselves... for growing old.
I Remember the rains of the younger years. Of those carefree ,reckless days.When I went out with my friends , and splashed the mud on each other's trousers.When 4 boys smoked one cigarette, with one of us giving gaurd, and yet a fear hoverin in your mind of elders comin to kno bout ur misadventures.When one of my female fren whispered "" To be a bitch or not to be a bitch, that is the question", and I could not stop thinking bout that whisper for 3 days straight.
It's doesn't matter what you say about somebody once they're gone.What matters is how you treat them when they're still here.
Life has taught all of us few lessons.But can nething be of a higher significance than a message dribbled out from some events that causes a dent in ur heart - a message that says " the only person you can trust in this world is yourself"
But no matter what life teaches,memories remain.And they Remains etched in the core of the heart. And slowly U realise how priceless this memories are .The sight of a gal's milky white delicate fingers ,with the long black nails, cuttin across a cheese burst pizza, and gorging it into her mouth.The wonder in her eyes ,reflecting the pleasure she derives out of that pizzam would probably kill a thousand of innocent kids just by the sheer magnitude of its innate beauty .
Growing up happens in a heartbeat. One day you're in diapers, the next day you're gone. But the memories of the "coming of age" years stay with you for the long haul. I remember a place, a town, a house, like a lot of houses. A yard like a lot of other yards. On a street like a lot of other streets. And the thing is, after all these years, I still look back...with wonder
All our young lives we search for someone to love. Someone who makes us complete. We choose partners and change partners. We dance to a song of heartbreak and hope... all the while wondering if somewhere, somehow, there's someone perfect... who might be searching for us.
Over the course of the average lifetime you meet a lot of people. Some of them stick with you through thick and thin. Some weave their way through your life and disappear forever. But once in a while someone comes along who earns a permanent place in your heart.Like a lot of someone's.Like in a lot of " once in a while"
Growing up is never easy. It never was , n would never be.You fight to hold on. You fight to let go. You hold on to things that were. You wonder what's to come.
But one fine evening, I think I knew it was time to let go of what had been, and look ahead to what would be. Other days. New days. Days to come. The thing is, we didn't have to hate each other for getting older. We just had to forgive ourselves... for growing old.
I Remember the rains of the younger years. Of those carefree ,reckless days.When I went out with my friends , and splashed the mud on each other's trousers.When 4 boys smoked one cigarette, with one of us giving gaurd, and yet a fear hoverin in your mind of elders comin to kno bout ur misadventures.When one of my female fren whispered "" To be a bitch or not to be a bitch, that is the question", and I could not stop thinking bout that whisper for 3 days straight.
It's doesn't matter what you say about somebody once they're gone.What matters is how you treat them when they're still here.
Life has taught all of us few lessons.But can nething be of a higher significance than a message dribbled out from some events that causes a dent in ur heart - a message that says " the only person you can trust in this world is yourself"
But no matter what life teaches,memories remain.And they Remains etched in the core of the heart. And slowly U realise how priceless this memories are .The sight of a gal's milky white delicate fingers ,with the long black nails, cuttin across a cheese burst pizza, and gorging it into her mouth.The wonder in her eyes ,reflecting the pleasure she derives out of that pizzam would probably kill a thousand of innocent kids just by the sheer magnitude of its innate beauty .
Growing up happens in a heartbeat. One day you're in diapers, the next day you're gone. But the memories of the "coming of age" years stay with you for the long haul. I remember a place, a town, a house, like a lot of houses. A yard like a lot of other yards. On a street like a lot of other streets. And the thing is, after all these years, I still look back...with wonder
Monday, March 1, 2010
Malicious Gossips
1)Some time back, a consulting company, for some inexplicable reasons, decided to offer me the profile of " Management Consultation & Valuation" for my summer internship project.Now my friends would vow by the fact that me being a management consultant is akin Laloo Prasad Yadav running a "Yadav Insitute of Spoken English". Judging by the very fact that the interview panel, which comprised of their senior consultants, decided to recruit me as a consultant, speaks volumes of their efficiency levels, and how only a miracle can now save the world from another global recession - given the way this consulting firms are operating.
2)I wont name the company which has made the export quality decision of recruiting me as a intern though.Yeah , am scared that they might employ some Jasoos who might then find how I am trying to mix the company's "naam" in "mitti" , and how I mite be told by my boss "Aap ke liye yaha koyi jagaa nahi hain" in the very first day of office.But more than that, am scared of the placecom team (Read - Placement committee team) of my college. They have this habit of levying fine on anything and everything when it comes to their notion of relationships with companies.Last time, a Peon from Uncle Chips came to give some letter, and I was fined as I did not call him sir,and offer him tea while collecting the letter.And the amount of money they make collecting fines is more than the yearly revenue of Indian Railways.Infact,couple of years back , one of the garib students had to sell one of his kidneys to pay the fine that was levied on him.And when I Once asked one of those placements guys on what is being done with the money collected through fine, he said he cant let me know.Hindi films have taught me over the years that if somebody doesnot disclose about where his money is going, he is definitely involved in smuggling.I will complain about this smuggling to CBI, once I get placed next year.Ok, I was just bullshitting.My room mate is a place com member, and I just love to irritate him - Discard whatever I have written here - If you don't want Shruti Hasaan to be widowed before marriage that is ;-)
3) And suddenly, the realization that am using bullet points even in a blog, should make u enlightened that am getting used to the life of an MBA student. Infact,such is the internalization, that the last time I wanted some money from my dad , I made a power point presentation, gave him a cost benefit and ROI analysis, and thus concluded how giving me the money is the wisest decision he has ever made
4)Last year,there was huge campaign run by Indian Railways with the punch line "160 years of bringing people closer".Now, this was one commercial I agree with unequivocally.Think of it - When the train services started in India somewhere in the 1860's , you hardly had any Indians who could afford the luxury of railways.And now , the moment you enter a Mumbai Local, you are virtually left in the lurch to find even a tiny bit of space in the compartment, where u can cramp n somehow survive the journey.Even ur wife wont be as physically close to you in the bed , when you compare it with the physical proximity of one and his co passenger in a peak hour virar local.See - 160 years of bringing people closer indeed.
5) Coming back to b schools,spend 2 days out here, and you start perceiving that everybody is vying for a job in Economic Times.I mean, people out here just need an opportunity to flaunt how their knowledge on recent economic topics are better than the economic adviser of India.To read economic times every morning is considered to be as necessary as attending to one's nature's call, and non-compliance leads you to be considered a someone having the intellect level of an American Super Model.Budget aaya ki nahin is baar - mails were floating from one direction to the other - As if ye koi budget nahin, Katrina Kaif ka Swayambar ka Invitation ho.N for lesser mortals of my stature, whose interest in newspapers have never proceeded beyond the "Delhi Times" supplement of Times Of India, the situation is like that of that a "kushti" competition happening in a local "akhada" which is happening synchronously with the IPL,thereby not generating even an iota of attention ;-)
6) I really find Shruti Hasaan Cute.N by that,I do mean in no uncertain terms that shez really really hot n gorgeous( Question out of curiosity - Why do north Indians have this habit to use the same adjectives multiple times to stress a point?? Does it come from the tradition of shouting "BUM BHOLE" OR "RAJA RAMCHANDRA KI JAI" a billion times during this religious festivals, so much so ki any ENT specialist in the town makes a fortune the next week out of ailing ear patients).So any kind human being whoz even remotely associated with her, and who cares bout my "sukhi zindagi do baal bacche samet" is welcome to get her rishta fixed with this sharif banda .Btw, keeping illusions aside, I found out her birthday to be on 28th Jan, which itself scares the shit outa me.I mean,the last time I was into a relationship with some female who was born on 28th jan, it resulted in such a huge disaster - that if I start tellin you the tale, by the time I reach the half way mark - my room would already have had a flood of the scale of the floods in Bihar last year, courtesy your tears.But koyi nahi puttar, people have experienced world war 2, people of have experienced someone cheating on you, people have experienced some one ensuring you are left with a big dent in your bank balance, and definitely your heart - and then act before their frenz that they never were involved, and the victim was actually the perpetrator who had made up the story - People, in short, have experienced the scariest things in life, and I am not the only one I know
7) And staying with the drift, one of my frenz ( Lets call him Veeru, a tribute to the immortal Dharmendra role in Sholay) is really upset this days.Here is the story.Veeru notices that Jai has put a modified version of a status message, which had been influenced by a girl, who again as tribute to the great epic of all times,I am going to refer as Sita.Now, Veeru tells Sita that her status message in GTALK is inspiring quite a few people.Sita replies with something like "Jai's message are sometime provocative".Now,when I was in school, my highest marks in my Moral Science paper was 20 outta 50.That too happened coz Moral Science was inevitably taught by the "father's" (From those hailing from Timbaktoo, this father's had no kids.They were infact catholic priest's who were barred from indulging in any activity which could have resulted in production of kids),who believed in the concept of not failing one in his tender years.Thus he always ended up giving enough grace marks to me.Only Once did I score a 40 - that time, the paper was out of 100.So, keeping with the tradition, I kinda told Veeru to tell Jai ki Sita told his messages were provocative.And he relented after lot of convincing.And bang changed Jai's status message - Ki his messages were provocative as it was meant to provoke one to think.When Sita noticed, some childish fight broke off between the two regarding some breach of trust and some such crap - as if koyi silly argument nahin, Kashmir ka discussion ho raha ho India Pakistan ke beech.Now guys, if you are reading this - It was all coz of me, so eradicate the cold vibes between you two.I kinda did this jus for fun - n I hope both of you understand I didn't mean any animosity.
8) N before I bid adieu, It seems tributing one's achievement to some is really considered in this days.Shahrukh tributes the success of his film to all Indians,Ambani tributes his success to his father - So lemme waste no to add my name in this grandiose list , and tribute this blog full of gibberish to the only living legend I am aware of for capturing the passion of a progressive nation, and becoming the first batsman in history to score a double hundred in limited over's cricket - ~~~~Bows down to the legend~~~~
2)I wont name the company which has made the export quality decision of recruiting me as a intern though.Yeah , am scared that they might employ some Jasoos who might then find how I am trying to mix the company's "naam" in "mitti" , and how I mite be told by my boss "Aap ke liye yaha koyi jagaa nahi hain" in the very first day of office.But more than that, am scared of the placecom team (Read - Placement committee team) of my college. They have this habit of levying fine on anything and everything when it comes to their notion of relationships with companies.Last time, a Peon from Uncle Chips came to give some letter, and I was fined as I did not call him sir,and offer him tea while collecting the letter.And the amount of money they make collecting fines is more than the yearly revenue of Indian Railways.Infact,couple of years back , one of the garib students had to sell one of his kidneys to pay the fine that was levied on him.And when I Once asked one of those placements guys on what is being done with the money collected through fine, he said he cant let me know.Hindi films have taught me over the years that if somebody doesnot disclose about where his money is going, he is definitely involved in smuggling.I will complain about this smuggling to CBI, once I get placed next year.Ok, I was just bullshitting.My room mate is a place com member, and I just love to irritate him - Discard whatever I have written here - If you don't want Shruti Hasaan to be widowed before marriage that is ;-)
3) And suddenly, the realization that am using bullet points even in a blog, should make u enlightened that am getting used to the life of an MBA student. Infact,such is the internalization, that the last time I wanted some money from my dad , I made a power point presentation, gave him a cost benefit and ROI analysis, and thus concluded how giving me the money is the wisest decision he has ever made
4)Last year,there was huge campaign run by Indian Railways with the punch line "160 years of bringing people closer".Now, this was one commercial I agree with unequivocally.Think of it - When the train services started in India somewhere in the 1860's , you hardly had any Indians who could afford the luxury of railways.And now , the moment you enter a Mumbai Local, you are virtually left in the lurch to find even a tiny bit of space in the compartment, where u can cramp n somehow survive the journey.Even ur wife wont be as physically close to you in the bed , when you compare it with the physical proximity of one and his co passenger in a peak hour virar local.See - 160 years of bringing people closer indeed.
5) Coming back to b schools,spend 2 days out here, and you start perceiving that everybody is vying for a job in Economic Times.I mean, people out here just need an opportunity to flaunt how their knowledge on recent economic topics are better than the economic adviser of India.To read economic times every morning is considered to be as necessary as attending to one's nature's call, and non-compliance leads you to be considered a someone having the intellect level of an American Super Model.Budget aaya ki nahin is baar - mails were floating from one direction to the other - As if ye koi budget nahin, Katrina Kaif ka Swayambar ka Invitation ho.N for lesser mortals of my stature, whose interest in newspapers have never proceeded beyond the "Delhi Times" supplement of Times Of India, the situation is like that of that a "kushti" competition happening in a local "akhada" which is happening synchronously with the IPL,thereby not generating even an iota of attention ;-)
6) I really find Shruti Hasaan Cute.N by that,I do mean in no uncertain terms that shez really really hot n gorgeous( Question out of curiosity - Why do north Indians have this habit to use the same adjectives multiple times to stress a point?? Does it come from the tradition of shouting "BUM BHOLE" OR "RAJA RAMCHANDRA KI JAI" a billion times during this religious festivals, so much so ki any ENT specialist in the town makes a fortune the next week out of ailing ear patients).So any kind human being whoz even remotely associated with her, and who cares bout my "sukhi zindagi do baal bacche samet" is welcome to get her rishta fixed with this sharif banda .Btw, keeping illusions aside, I found out her birthday to be on 28th Jan, which itself scares the shit outa me.I mean,the last time I was into a relationship with some female who was born on 28th jan, it resulted in such a huge disaster - that if I start tellin you the tale, by the time I reach the half way mark - my room would already have had a flood of the scale of the floods in Bihar last year, courtesy your tears.But koyi nahi puttar, people have experienced world war 2, people of have experienced someone cheating on you, people have experienced some one ensuring you are left with a big dent in your bank balance, and definitely your heart - and then act before their frenz that they never were involved, and the victim was actually the perpetrator who had made up the story - People, in short, have experienced the scariest things in life, and I am not the only one I know
7) And staying with the drift, one of my frenz ( Lets call him Veeru, a tribute to the immortal Dharmendra role in Sholay) is really upset this days.Here is the story.Veeru notices that Jai has put a modified version of a status message, which had been influenced by a girl, who again as tribute to the great epic of all times,I am going to refer as Sita.Now, Veeru tells Sita that her status message in GTALK is inspiring quite a few people.Sita replies with something like "Jai's message are sometime provocative".Now,when I was in school, my highest marks in my Moral Science paper was 20 outta 50.That too happened coz Moral Science was inevitably taught by the "father's" (From those hailing from Timbaktoo, this father's had no kids.They were infact catholic priest's who were barred from indulging in any activity which could have resulted in production of kids),who believed in the concept of not failing one in his tender years.Thus he always ended up giving enough grace marks to me.Only Once did I score a 40 - that time, the paper was out of 100.So, keeping with the tradition, I kinda told Veeru to tell Jai ki Sita told his messages were provocative.And he relented after lot of convincing.And bang changed Jai's status message - Ki his messages were provocative as it was meant to provoke one to think.When Sita noticed, some childish fight broke off between the two regarding some breach of trust and some such crap - as if koyi silly argument nahin, Kashmir ka discussion ho raha ho India Pakistan ke beech.Now guys, if you are reading this - It was all coz of me, so eradicate the cold vibes between you two.I kinda did this jus for fun - n I hope both of you understand I didn't mean any animosity.
8) N before I bid adieu, It seems tributing one's achievement to some is really considered in this days.Shahrukh tributes the success of his film to all Indians,Ambani tributes his success to his father - So lemme waste no to add my name in this grandiose list , and tribute this blog full of gibberish to the only living legend I am aware of for capturing the passion of a progressive nation, and becoming the first batsman in history to score a double hundred in limited over's cricket - ~~~~Bows down to the legend~~~~
Saturday, February 20, 2010
The Plight of a d-grader
After readin my previous posts, you might be wondering how some one can b so abysmally stupid n thick headed, so much so that even Rakhi Sawant's swayambar Eelesh falls pale in comparison.But this illusion to you, of me being the absolute extreme of brainless homosapiens on earth, has happened to you probably because you have not met my roommate.Uh - what Astuteness, wot acumen, wot sagacity .N jus for HIS clarification if he is reading this - Sagacity is not the name of any city in the US.Dictionary.com main meaning search kar.Such is his level of aptitude ,that till recently, he thought Dandi March was some form of Dandiya Competition in Gujrat in which Mahatma Gandhi had participated.And he still believes that Sidney Sheldon is a female who lives in Sydney.Yesterday he was askin me weather that gal Sheldon had any role in orchestrating racial abuse against Indians.N now, Ladies n Gentleman, to give u a short illustration of the creative craft ship and intellectual brilliance of the genius I have been raving about, let me have the honour to present before u a small poem which he has composed
Disclaimer - Please ensure any object where you might bang your head on is not in close proximity before you start to read the poem .Further, do see to that you have a couple of nervous breakdown pills handy.We are not liable for any damage in the computer screen if you decide to smash it after you have read the poem.And if you do decide on committing suicide, ensure you write a suicide note stating that you read the poem fully aware of warnings given beforehand, and hence, we are not to be prosecuted
The poem is called "D- Grader", dedicated to all those b skoolers whose interest in studies is as great as Mamta Banerjee's interest in America's domestic rugby season.And for those who just arrived from a stay in the thick forest of Arizona, a b skool is a term used for Business Schools, and students out here are graded relatively to one another on a scale of 4.33.Anything above 3.66 is A, and anything below 1.66 is D....B & C in between those ranges.
So after these moronic descriptions and non- sensical details, letz finally get started with the poem :
Cigarette on one hand and on another a cup of tea
I glanced at my marksheet which showed yet another 'D'
I wonder why when the class average is 3, I still get a D
Then i realise that if not for my D,the class average would have been 3.3
As soon as i saw my marksheet , i wanted to pee
As i had a lot of beer ,with biryani which had no ghee
I dont know wot to do now except watching few more movies of Bruce Lee
Or maybe, like Gautum Buddha, go and sit under some Bodhi Tree.
But Bodh Gaya is too far fetched, I dont even have money to go to Kullu Manali
Oh God, y does such a distressing state fall upon me??
And this too when I spend so much sleepless nights, praying on my knee!!
God, do a miracle, and give some solution to thee..
How I scored well and cracked CAT is still a mystery
And then To come here n study, I paid such a hefty fee
Oh God, gimme some , atleast some easy key.
Of a life without any work, comprised of drinking beer and babe-watching by the sea
PS - As always, keepin with the tradition, please dont take me seriously.I love to exaggerate and write utter non-sense in my blog.My roommate, though a little silly, is actually an amazingly sociable, warm hearted ,highly intelligent and good humored dude.All this exaggeration was actually done coz am aiming a job at aaj tak - they wanted a practical illustration on how good I was in cooking up stories.The disclaimers though do not refute the poet of his rightful credit - The poet of this composition stands to be my room mate.
Disclaimer - Please ensure any object where you might bang your head on is not in close proximity before you start to read the poem .Further, do see to that you have a couple of nervous breakdown pills handy.We are not liable for any damage in the computer screen if you decide to smash it after you have read the poem.And if you do decide on committing suicide, ensure you write a suicide note stating that you read the poem fully aware of warnings given beforehand, and hence, we are not to be prosecuted
The poem is called "D- Grader", dedicated to all those b skoolers whose interest in studies is as great as Mamta Banerjee's interest in America's domestic rugby season.And for those who just arrived from a stay in the thick forest of Arizona, a b skool is a term used for Business Schools, and students out here are graded relatively to one another on a scale of 4.33.Anything above 3.66 is A, and anything below 1.66 is D....B & C in between those ranges.
So after these moronic descriptions and non- sensical details, letz finally get started with the poem :
Cigarette on one hand and on another a cup of tea
I glanced at my marksheet which showed yet another 'D'
I wonder why when the class average is 3, I still get a D
Then i realise that if not for my D,the class average would have been 3.3
As soon as i saw my marksheet , i wanted to pee
As i had a lot of beer ,with biryani which had no ghee
I dont know wot to do now except watching few more movies of Bruce Lee
Or maybe, like Gautum Buddha, go and sit under some Bodhi Tree.
But Bodh Gaya is too far fetched, I dont even have money to go to Kullu Manali
Oh God, y does such a distressing state fall upon me??
And this too when I spend so much sleepless nights, praying on my knee!!
God, do a miracle, and give some solution to thee..
How I scored well and cracked CAT is still a mystery
And then To come here n study, I paid such a hefty fee
Oh God, gimme some , atleast some easy key.
Of a life without any work, comprised of drinking beer and babe-watching by the sea
PS - As always, keepin with the tradition, please dont take me seriously.I love to exaggerate and write utter non-sense in my blog.My roommate, though a little silly, is actually an amazingly sociable, warm hearted ,highly intelligent and good humored dude.All this exaggeration was actually done coz am aiming a job at aaj tak - they wanted a practical illustration on how good I was in cooking up stories.The disclaimers though do not refute the poet of his rightful credit - The poet of this composition stands to be my room mate.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
